She was not quite what you would call unrefined

So let's see, things are still consistently good. I need a haircut soooo bad I think I might go tonight or tomorrow night. It's really difficult trying to find time to go with Aiden cause Steve is usually working late or has practice and can't watch him and he's not one to sit still through anything. I'll manage I guess and if worse comes to worse I'll cut it myself. ha.
I am like beyond excited for this weekend. Steve has a show on Sat. in RI and he is taking Paige's guy with him so Paige and I have the whole day to spend together and we are going to take the boys to the Central Park Zoo and to walk around NY. I'm excited for the following reasons- I have never been to a zoo, It's going to be the most gorgeous day to be out and about and I get to spend it with Aiden, my best and her baby bear too. Can't describe a better day.
I'm about 10 weeks pregnant this week. I've got suchhhh a long way to go. I'm in the transitioning phase where I go from looking fat to looking pregnant but its whatever I've got a bunch of cute clothes to hide it for now. I dont really think about it too much cause I know the more I think about it the more anxious I will be.
Steve and I went to Paige's for dinner last night and her and I were looking at wedding stuff and it was fun having someone other than Steve to talk to about my ideas and to hear her ideas. I value her opinion very much.
It's crazy how shes only been back for a few months and shes such an amazing friend. I've always thought nothing but good things about her but lately she just solidifies everything I thought in the first place.Its nice having someone like her around and I appreciate her a lot. I think everyone needs a friend like her. =)
My job is financial crap and they started laying some people off starting with the receptionist who took over that position when I got promoted. So now that she is gone I have to fill her spot and keep up with my administrative duties and I think I have worked the hardest this week than I have the 2 years that Ive been here. Its not bad cause it makes my days go faster but its stressful cause I have double the work load and I have to hope I can keep up with it or my job is next. blah.

Over the past weekend I went out and saw some friends that I am a little skeptical about. Its the kind of situation where you want to be friends with the person and you like being around the person but when you're not with them or around them you feel like they are up to no good or just totally fake to your face. It's really frustrating too and if I could write the details I totally would but I'll save it for another day. until then....

We never meant to do that, we never meant to do this, and we always meant what we said.

Tomorrow is the big day...I have my first doctors visit! I'm about 9 weeks now and my belly is super itchy and gets a tiny bit bigger everyday. I need to start taking pictures. People at work say that I've been glowing which is probably true since I forgot how much I liked being pregnant sometimes. =) Our Easter wasn't over the top eventful. Aiden got dressed up in his little 3 piece suit and we went to my parents house first and then left to get dessert at Steve's grandmother's. It was a nice day.
There honestly hasnt been too much going on. Paige is in MA now, shes been there for what feels like forever and I can't wait for her to get home. I really miss her. This weekend I get to see Jamie finally and we're going to take the babes out in the wonderful weather we are supposed to be having. I'm excited to see her. I'm supposed to be going to see Bayside and NFG sat. night but I'm not sure about what to do with Aiden yet so we will see. I wish I had more to blog about =( I'll probably have more to write after tomorrows appointment. I also get the whole day off tomorrow cause its passover and my company celebrates Jewish holidays along with the US Holiday's. Crazy.

more tomorrow.

every day im getting closer to everything ive been waiting for

On my drive to work this morning I started thinking about a lot of things...a lot! I know over the past year I have questioned so many decisions I have made and so many things that had been happening with me and I was so unsure about so many things in my life. I was depressed for so many months! Now I dont know if its just the hormones from me being pregnant thats making me feel this way but this morning I realized my life is more than amazing.
Of course Steve and I have had ups and downs...what relationship doesn't. No relationship is perfect no matter what people want to believe. He loves me and supports me and stands by me no matter what we go through and what more could I ask for from another human being. Not only is he going to be an amazing husband but he is such a wonderful daddy. It's crazy how much a person can change in such a short time but Steve has changed (for the better) more than I had ever imagined. I love knowing that he is mine and that we are our own family and we are in love. We have everything anyone could need.
With our second babe on it's way we've had doubts about things but then realized we're going to be more than fine.
I am really a lucky girl. I've got my soul mate, I have my son who is my whole heart and means the absolute world to me, I've got great friends who I trust and confide in and are there for me always, I have a super supportive family who are so good to me, I have a job making more money than most people my age even the ones who spent all that time in college, I have a house, a car and other materialistic things. I'm young and have so much to look forward too. I'm not going to have anymore doubts or worry about things that I have no control over and focus on everything important to me and making my family better and stronger than we already are. I guess I had a revelation this morning that just made me in the absolute best mood ever and made me realize that I love being me. There are so many people who don't have close to what I have. My ex- boyfriend calls me every now and then so depressed cause he can not get his life together and I never know what to tell him.He's only dated one other girl after me but his life is just all sorts of chaotic and he's the same age as me and still lives at home with his parents. I have people I know complaining they can't find a significant other or someone to be with.I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm grateful for everything I have and the decisions I have made up until now. If i didn't take chances and choices I'd probably still be with my ex putting up with his crap and lies and whatever else...and I'd probably still have those same horrible friends that I let walk all over me. So glad thats all done now.

I have a 4 day weekend after today and I'm excited to spend so much time with Aiden. When I ask him where the baby is he lifts up my shirt and tickles my belly and pokes my belly button haha. He is so silly! I'm so excited for so many things, i just wish the weather would get nicer so we are able to enjoy them <3